Knowing how to support employees who are grieving may be challenging, especially when the loss impacts the workplace.
The individual needs of a grieving employee may vary depending upon several factors, such as the person’s support system, coping skills, past losses, and how close they were to the person who died. Common emotional and behavioral reactions include:
- Shock or numbness
- Second guessing or feeling responsible
- A sense of helplessness
- Crying, agitation, anger, or rage
- Difficulty concentrating
- Change in work performance
- Withdrawal from others
If an employee is grieving a family member or loved one:
- Be empathetic. Ask how the grieving person is doing. Listen to what they have to say and validate their feelings. Being supportive and expressing concern will let the person know that they matter because of who they are and not just the work they do.
- Be sensitive to reactions. Most emotional and physical responses are normal, and some may be intense. Keep in mind that the person’s loss may be outside your own experience. It is not your place to judge how the person navigates the grief process.
- Be respectful. Ask the person their preferences before releasing any information about a major loss. Keep the announcement to a simple statement that informs staff that the person has lost a loved one, outlines any schedule adjustment, and expresses the team’s support. While the grieving person may choose to share details about their loss or visitation or funeral arrangements with colleagues, you should not do so without their permission.
- Recognize the impact on your team. Other members of your team may be directly affected by a colleague’s loss due to personal friendships, family connections, or ties within the community. Make every effort to honor requests for time off to attend a funeral or memorial event.
If the person who has died is a member of your team:
- Be available. Reach out and ask how your team is doing. Listen to and validate feelings. People will ask “Does the organization care?” Your availability and concern will provide the answer.
- Communicate. Shut down speculation by distributing factual information on a frequent basis. If your team is working remotely, set up a virtual lunch or meeting. Remember to protect the deceased employee’s privacy.
- Don’t erase the employee. Consider keeping the person’s workspace as a memorial for a time. Talk to HR about how to respectfully manage the hiring process for the position.
- Take time for you. Set aside time to acknowledge your own feelings. Role model healthy self-care strategies.
Grieving is a process, and there is nothing you can do to make it “all better.” Listening and showing you care will help your team weather this difficult time.
