Losing a friendship is often painful, and may sometimes occur due to a difference in values or beliefs. In the aftermath of a friend “breakup,” it’s common to experience feelings of grief. These steps may help you navigate the process:
- Don’t bury your emotions. Allow yourself to accept the range of emotions that you are experiencing. It’s common to feel a mix of sadness, frustration, anger, and even relief.
- Acknowledge the disruption. One of the hardest parts of losing a friend is missing their presence in your daily life. This may be most noticeable at the times of day when you would most often interact (such as during meals). Recognize that it will take time to transition to a new “normal.”
- Focus on self-care. In the immediate aftermath of a friendship loss, feelings of sadness or even depression are common. Try to maintain a healthy eating, sleeping, and exercise routine. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation or journaling, may be helpful as well.
- Recognize the underlying issues. While a friendship might end due to a specific disagreement, fundamental issues such as poor communication or differences in values may contribute to unhealthy patterns. In addition, friendships are sometimes situational and could fade naturally with time.
- Reflect on the friendship. Evaluate both positive memories and experiences and those that were difficult or disrespectful. This is often an ongoing process that occurs in the weeks or months following the end of the friendship. It may be helpful to work with a counselor during this process.
- Avoid holding a grudge. Letting go of anger and resentment will help you heal. It may also allow space for the friendship to resume after feelings have cooled.
- Connect with others. Talk with trusted family or friends about what you are feeling. Reach out to campus counseling services for assistance as needed.
