Episode 11: Receiving a Cancer Diagnosis with Jessica Storm, Part 2

OT Ep. 11 – Transcription.txt
00;00;09;00 – 00;00;42;11
Kelly Parbs
Welcome to OnTopic with Empathia. I’m your host, Kelly Parbs. Today on the show, we’ll continue our conversation with Jessica Storm. Jessica is an account executive with Empathia. In episode one, she told us about her journey with breast cancer while pregnant with her daughter. Today, we will hear about what happened next. You can find part one of this conversation on our website, www.empathia.com. Hello, Jess! Thanks for continuing our conversation!

00;00;42;18 – 00;00;45;13
Jessica Storm
Oh, thank you, Kelly! You’re making me blush.

00;00;45;15 – 00;01;16;22
Kelly Parbs
You have just been through so, so much. And even if we stopped right here, you’ve already shared a wealth of information regarding how organizations can help support someone with cancer. It’s crazy to think that your cancer story does not stop here. Unfortunately, life took yet another terrible turn for you and your family. Jessica, you were diagnosed with breast cancer while pregnant.

00;01;16;24 – 00;01;19;19
Kelly Parbs
You have a beautiful, healthy baby girl.

00;01;19;25 – 00;01;20;10
Jessica Storm
Yes.

00;01;20;25 – 00;01;32;13
Kelly Parbs
You went through 15 rounds of chemotherapy and a double mastectomy and had every reason to celebrate and believe you were cured.

00;01;32;22 – 00;01;33;16
Kelly Parbs
Yes.

00;01;34;09 – 00;01;38;00
Kelly Parbs
You had that sigh of relief for a good what was it, about nine months?

00;01;38;00 – 00;01;45;02
Jessica Storm
Nine months! Nine months of moving forward and thinking my life as we’re moving on at this point.

00;01;45;05 – 00;01;48;02
Kelly Parbs
So then tell us what happened next.

00;01;48;12 – 00;04;56;04
Jessica Storm
Well, actually I can’t tell my story without this diagnosis by plug in of why you should wear sunscreen and go see a dermatologist. As my oncologist had recommended, I go see a dermatologist because everybody should see a dermatologist – everyone should do a skin check. And I thought, oh, one more appointment like gross. I don’t want to go, but I. Okay, I’ll listen. Right. He’s a doctor and he’s got me this far, so I should probably listen to him. And I have normal skin. Like, I don’t have a lot of freckles. I don’t have a lot of moles. I had pretty I would say, I don’t know, average, but I did do a lot of indoor tanning in college because that was like the thing to do back then. I also was a lifeguard. I didn’t take care of my skin. I feel like I was your typical 20 teenager wanting to be super tan because that was cool. Anyways, so I thought that was all the back of my head and like, fine, I should go see him, do a skin check, whatever. So I go in and they find this spot on my back and they’re like, Well, we could wait and see what it does, or we could just take it and have it biopsied. I’m like, Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Lesson learned. You just take it. Biopsy it. Tell me what it is. Well, I get the call a day later. I have stage one melanoma, and I’m like, What? Oh, my gosh. I am just like, I start bawling, I’m at my girlfriend’s house for our book club. And I swear, every time I get bad news, I’m always on book club. I don’t know what the theme is there. It’s just heartbreaking because I’m like, What? But I feel like I wasn’t shocked because, again, I didn’t take care of my skin. I if I only knew what I knew now, you know? But thankfully it was stage one. It hadn’t spread. It was a quick snip out. It’s the ugliest and biggest scar that I have out of that. I think I have like around 15 scars, so it’s the biggest one. But I got that taken care of. It was maybe days later I started noticing these really weird headaches and I’m not a headache person. I just I’ve been like, It doesn’t really happen to me. I get headaches. It’s like, I think, I don’t know, I just don’t get headaches a lot. I guess you could say Yes, I noticed that these headaches weren’t really going away, but I thought, Wow, you know, I have a little baby, maybe this is normal, between having a career, a baby. But about two weeks go by and I’m noticing that, gosh, the headaches are just weird. I don’t even know how to explain it to you, but they were weird. So I decided to call my cancer clinic and say I’m experiencing these really weird headaches, but they’re like, Well, you’re not really having any other symptoms. Why don’t you just walk over? Because we’re across the street, remember, walk over and we’ll do an MRI of your brain and just we’ll give you a peace of mind. I’m sure everything’s fine, but so you’re going to need to figure out a way to to figure out your stress level, because that’s probably what’s creating these headaches. Well, Kelly, I was I was at work. It was probably like I did the MRI about 12:30 and by 2:30 I had three missed phone calls from our hospital.

00;04;56;06 – 00;05;02;01
Kelly Parbs
So now you’re back. So you’re saying now you’re back at work? Yeah. I’m noticing that you have missed phone calls.

00;05;02;02 – 00;05;22;28
Jessica Storm
Yeah, actually. I had a coworker, Kate, go with me to this brain MRI. So once again, thankfully, I’m having open – coworkers came with me. We walked back over to work. I’m thinking I’m not going to get a phone call till tomorrow or 5:00, like later in the day? But no, and I left my phone in my office charging because I didn’t think I was going to get a phone call!

00;05;22;29 – 00;05;24;04
Kelly Parbs
Sure.

00;05;24;06 – 00;05;49;29
Jessica Storm
I have three missed calls from my doctor and I’m like, oh my gosh, like, what is going on? So I called him back and I knew something was wrong because when you’re a cancer patient, you analyze everything and you begin to know, like when people say specific things, you know, you’re getting bad news. The receptionist was like, Oh, this is Jessica Storm? I’m like, Yeah. She’s like, okay, I need to put you on hold. I need to go get Dr. H.

00;05;50;01 – 00;05;51;01
Kelly Parbs
Red flag, right?

00;05;51;03 – 00;06;36;08
Jessica Storm
Like, red flag right off the bat!. They’re going to put you on hold, you know it’s you’re typically getting a callback, not getting put a hold. He gets on the phone and he says, Jess, you have a golf ball sized tumor in the back of your head. I was like, What? I was just having these weird headaches. I could go outside and run a few miles for you. Like, there’s no way I have a tumor in the back of my head. He’s like, You do. And I do not know what it is. I’m like, Well, what do you mean? He’s like, It doesn’t look like metastatic breast cancer. And I’m like, And he’s like, It also doesn’t really look like metastatic melanoma because remember, two weeks prior, I just got diagnosed with melanoma.

00;06;36;10 – 00;06;37;06
Kelly Parbs
Right!

00;06;37;06 – 00;07;16;27
Jessica Storm
And I look at him, like over the phone, I’m like, are you saying like I could have brain cancer? He’s like, I yeah. And I’m like, oh, my gosh. Like, well, at that point I remember looking out the window like, how what? You know, I don’t even know how to take this all in. He’s in right away. He, he knows me like I need a solution. And he’s like your I’ve already got a call in to a neurosurgeon. I’m waiting for them to call me back. I need you to keep your phone on you for the next couple hours because they’re going to call you back to get you in for a consult to figure out how we’re going to remove this. I’m like, okay.

00;07;17;00 – 00;07;33;07
Kelly Parbs
I mean, I just can’t even imagine. And I want to focus on what what was that like emotionally for you to be at work? I mean, I would imagine you would have preferred at least to be at home. I know you wouldn’t want this news at all, but you weren’t at work. What was that like to be-

00;07;33;10 – 00;08;39;08
Jessica Storm
In the office? We- we wrap the phone call, so I’m having to wait for his neurosurgeon. I literally run to my colleague’s office and like, tell her what’s going on and start bawling. And then like two or three other coworkers can hear me. They’re coming in. I’ll never forget my my boss was actually in the middle of a new hire, like walk around orientation. That’s what we call it. Why she’s in the middle of orientation. I literally looked at her in the middle of this orientation. I stop there and I say, I need to talk with you. And she’s like, Oh, is it okay if you just ask this orientation? I look at her and I’m like, No, look, it cannot wait. And she’s just like, okay. Like she could see it on my face of like, Oh my gosh, what has happened? So I bring her to my office. I’m like, I don’t know what’s going to happen to me, but like, I have a golf ball sized tumor in the back of my head and nobody knows what it’s it knows what it is. I can’t come in to work tomorrow probably. I don’t know what I’m doing. Like for what? You know, last time when I got the first diagnosis of breast cancer, I kind of had a plan, I guess, right away, if that makes sense. Like I knew…

00;08;39;08 – 00;08;45;01
Kelly Parbs
Well and you had so little time, at least a minute to think about it and devise a plan. This one felt different.

00;08;45;03 – 00;09;44;25
Jessica Storm
It did. It felt like, I don’t know, like fifty-hundred-thousand times worse because nobody knew what this was. I didn’t have a plan. I didn’t know when I was going to see a neurosurgeon. I’m at work. I’m like losing it in front of all my colleagues. I guess I love you guys, but I don’t really want to, like, lose it in front of you. But I am. And so I But maybe I wouldn’t have had it any other way, looking back, because I guess if I was at home, I probably would have been alone. And that’s a I mean, I didn’t have anyone to- to talk with. So maybe it was a blessing in disguise that I found out at work because I had you guys. Right. And it was a lot of intense feelings and just the unknown. I mean, that’s the worst place you can be. The waiting and the unknown in a cancer diagnosis is horrendous. So find your people, your coworkers, your friends, your family. When you have to sit in those feelings of waiting and the unknown, you have to be surrounded by people.

00;09;44;27 – 00;10;01;17
Kelly Parbs
So then you had 24 hours to get your work in order. Yeah. How did you deal with or navigate the pressure of getting work wrapped up while learning? You have a golf ball sized tumor in your head?

00;10;01;27 – 00;11;57;26
Jessica Storm
Yeah, I feel bad. I’m like laughing because I think that’s like a coping mechanism of, like, this craziness. So yes, the next day I see a neurosurgeon and he’s like, well, I don’t know what this is. I won’t know until we get in there. And also they say, okay, well, when can you get it out? And he’s like, Well, if you start the steroids, I can do it. Like the following day. I’m like, Oh, you better put that order in. So that’s when I knew I had 24 hours till brain surgery and I was going to be out of work for at least a month. And so when I came to work, I pretty much told myself, I have 12 hours, like I’ll work 12 hours to get this in order. I have all these accounts. I had people like accounts that I all of my accounts I truly care about. Like I need to let them know and I’m going to be transparent, like being 33 years old and be like, Oh, I have to go on medical leave. Like, I’m sorry, this is not typical. Like, I didn’t want my accounts worrying like, what is going on with her. So a lot of them, if not a majority of them, I was transparent with and said, I am so sorry, but I’m going to have to go out on medical leave because I’m going to have to have surgery because they found a tumor in the back of my head. So it’s always going to watch over your account. I will be out for the next month and I had to learn to let go, right? That’s the best I could do in the 12 hours. I couldn’t prep them like I did before for a leave of 12 weeks. It was 12 hours and we worked together with my boss was my colleagues of who is going to watch all of my accounts and I had to learn to let it go. I had 12 hours. This was going to be my work plan. People needed to step up. It really came. I probably have never been so honest with people in my life, but it literally was like, I have to go on is I have to now put my health as the number one priority because I do not want to die. I knew-

00;11;57;29 – 00;12;45;17
Kelly Parbs
Again, you were so good at just being assertive, letting people know what you needed. And what really struck me and I think a lot about resilience, right in the job that I do. And one of the things that we know about resilient people is that they’re able to find the good, even in the worst of situations. And one of the things I remember you saying is, well, at least I’m going to have the surgery fast, right? At least I don’t have to be worried about it for a week or two. This is all going to happen very fast. And it it just struck me of how resilient you were that even in the really bad situations, you were able to identify those things that were that you saw as good. And I really I appreciated that.

00;12;45;28 – 00;13;36;06
Jessica Storm
Yeah. And I think I appreciate my medical team being able to work so quickly, but I appreciated you guys. I’m not the most assertive human being. I sometimes make fun of myself at work that I’m like, the wet noodle? And that I never like? Yeah, maybe like I don’t typically like a hard no or yes, but in this case I had to I had to say you just had to. So I’m going to need you and you’re going to do it. I need to watch over this account. This is what’s going on with them. They have your contact information already. So you’re going to be in charge. I honestly kind of tried to since I had gone nine months before, I tried to keep it consistent in talking to those same people who watch over my account. So I took the skills and the things I had learned at my previous leave and applied them to this leave. It was just that I only had 12 hours to do it.

00;13;36;11 – 00;13;56;18
Kelly Parbs
It was fast forward. Yep. You had to just go so fast. Yes. So we’ve talked about how you kind of just jumped right in and you had a plan because you’re an action kind of gal. Yes, but tell me more about the emotions that came with a stage four cancer diagnosis. What does that do to your mental health?

00;13;56;20 – 00;15;16;16
Jessica Storm
Oh, oh, I don’t wish stage four because that’s what happened. It ended up being brain surgery; did confirm that it was stage four, triple negative metastatic breast cancer. And when I got that diagnosis, I, I don’t I guess I don’t wish that upon my worst enemy of knowing. You’re not sure how much time you have left on this earth. And I’m not done yet. Like, I mean, I did have those fleeting thoughts, but because I am a resilient person, I was like, Oh no, oh no, no, no, no. I’m not done here. I have so much more to do. I’ve done a lot in my 30 plus years, but I’m not done yet. Like, I just thought, okay, I’m going to have to hit the ground running and I’m going to have to put my health as the first priority so that I can live for my daughter, but that I can live for my husband, for my family at work, unfortunately, is going to have to be five, number five or six when it used to be the top three. I can have a stage four. You kind of have to stop and think about how you want to live the rest of your life. And at that time I thought, yes, my career is important to me, but not nearly as important as it is to being a mom.

00;15;16;19 – 00;15;17;19
Kelly Parbs
Sure.

00;15;17;22 – 00;16;13;15
Jessica Storm
So emotionally, I think those were my lowest points is like just thinking about death and dying and and to be, if I’m dead honest with you, do start having those thoughts of like who is my daughter going to remember? Is my daughter going to remember me? Is my husband going to get remarried? Is my daughter going to call somebody else, mom and grow up with knowing that thinking that that was her mom and like that would that those thoughts it’s just even talking to you. Kelly right now makes my stomach hurt because, you know, I there are so many young moms that have lost their life to cancer, and I just feel for that because of their kids. It might just even maybe then have kids like their family is. I just I don’t know. I guess it’s like stage four and you get a diagnosis like that, you do have to stop and think, How do I want to live out the rest of my life? Your life is never going to be the same.

00;16;14;09 – 00;16;21;20
Kelly Parbs
It’s not really the same after a cancer diagnosis, but it’s definitely not the same after you get a Stage four diagnosis and unsure of your future.

00;16;21;23 – 00;16;30;21
Kelly Parbs
And you just think about things and face realities that people at that age usually don’t have to take the time to think about.

00;16;30;24 – 00;16;46;25
Jessica Storm
Oh right, Like my friends, right? They’re having babies. Some of them are getting married. They’re changing jobs. There’s like biggest stressors in the world can feel so much new to me. It’s like, oh, if you only do. I don’t have that attitude anymore. But I did back then.

00;16;46;28 – 00;16;49;16
Kelly Parbs
Sure, you have to work through that – you worked through that.

00;16;49;20 – 00;17;10;20
Jessica Storm
You have survivor guilt. You have jealousy issues. You just it’s a bag of emotions because you don’t know every hour, every minute. Sometimes you’re feeling different, you’re crying that your bad. Then you’re like loving life. It’s all over the place until you can find your new normal again and again and again.

00;17;10;22 – 00;17;18;09
Kelly Parbs
Well and again. Making sure that you have a support system in place that supports you through that journey and walks alongside you.

00;17;18;11 – 00;17;42;01
Jessica Storm
Yes, your support team. And you have to have trust in your medical team, advocate for yourself, whether educate yourself in every dimension of your life, your flight at work, or on your medical team or in your family, Whatever it is, it’s like, again, it’s all about living the best life that you can. And so sometimes that involves advocating for yourself. If something’s not feeling right to me.

00;17;42;21 – 00;17;49;07
Kelly Parbs
So obviously your mental health, your physical health, those are the most important parts of the story.

00;17;49;14 – 00;17;50;10
Jessica Storm
It really is.

00;17;50;10 – 00;17;59;19
Kelly Parbs
Our focus being on cancer in the workplace, how can a cancer diagnosis impact an employee’s career trajectory?

00;17;59;24 – 00;20;27;15
Jessica Storm
Yeah, that was one of my biggest worries was what’s going to happen to my career? Should I stay? You know, you start questioning your career, you just like, should I stay in this career or should I get a little something a little bit easier? So that is easier for me to navigate the workplace because I do have a lot of responsibility with my job. So I did think about like, okay, should I maybe find something that’s a little bit less responsibility is for so that but then I guess I don’t maybe it was something inside of me where I was like, well I have only- what, 34 or 35 at that point? I was like, No, I need to learn to live that or act like I’m going to live to what my goal, which is 102. So I feel like I did I did worry about my career or I did I worried a little bit about my workplace. Will they support me through this? Because with metastatic breast cancer, you’re a cancer patient for life. I know, Kelly, that I am going to have cancer related appointments forever. So I – it is going to be important that I’m at a workplace that’s going to support that diagnosis, that they’re going to have to be flexible with me. Now thankfully, years later, I’m doing super well, but I still have appointments every three months. I am still on oral chemo. Thankfully, I don’t have a lot of side effects anymore, but I sure did a year ago and I still. So it’s just like I’m so thankful for my workplace for being staying open, being flexible for the last four years and hopefully will continue for the next four years because I don’t think I’m going to have a finish line like other cancer patients, obviously, and good for that. But they deserve the finish line. I just don’t know when mine or if it’s ever going to come. So I’m never going to have like a yearly appointments. They’re probably going to be three months for a very long time. But you worry about that. You’re in your thirties and forties and fifties, you’re developing your career, you want to like move up the ladder, you want to do better for yourself and when you get it feels like a setback, you’re like, Am I going to start over? Should I do something different? You start questioning everything, but again, go to your manager and talk about it. Talk about how you’re feeling and what you visualize and what you want to do. I think that would be I think that would be really helpful. And it has that right. I’m still in the exact same place. I was able to conquer through it all and have I have a good handling of how to, you know, continue to grow my career.

00;20;27;18 – 00;20;35;15
Kelly Parbs
So what would you say is your best advice for balancing work life and cancer life and both having a young child.

00;20;35;18 – 00;21;51;17
Jessica Storm
Oh my gosh, organize, being organized. I would be lying to say that I have never missed a cancer related appointment or I can’t remember like, what am I supposed to do for the day? But I do keep a lot of lists. I’m a little old school. I do have a paper and pen. I prefer, like not to be on my phone as much as I don’t already have to be. So I do like every Sunday for me, I take a look at the week with my cancer related appointments. I kind of always know when they’re coming up and I strategize around that. So I know now that I am not mentally present at work or at home a few hours before my appointments or a few hours after. I don’t want to. I know that my appointments are going to go well, but I do need to prepare for the worst. So Kelly, what I do with when I have cancer related appointments and knowing that my whole life could change because I you know, between surgeries, scary appointments that have happened in the last few years, I’ve learned that, like, you need to be prepared that your world could change at the drop of a dime. So I always schedule my appointment. I don’t schedule anything. So for example, coming up in a few weeks, I have my cancer related appointment at eight in the morning. I do not schedule any meetings on that day.

00;21;51;17 – 00;21;52;29
Kelly Parbs
Interesting!

00;21;53;04 – 00;22;22;22
Jessica Storm
Because I don’t know where I’m going to be mentally present for that. My company deserves a little bit more from me and I can’t. I have to prepare for the worst so I never have any meetings. 2 hours prior to a cancer meeting because I’m going down the rabbit hole and I cannot help myself. I cannot help. I love my life. I don’t want it to change, but I can’t help but start thinking of like the negatives about 2 hours. So I block off my calendar. No appointments, no meetings.

00;22;23;22 – 00;22;38;25
Kelly Parbs
So part of what you’re saying is really get to know yourself and know. Yeah, you don’t know what your rhythms are and be honest with yourself about it. I like that you’re going to go down the rabbit hole and you know what you have to do in order to cope with that.

00;22;38;28 – 00;23;29;09
Jessica Storm
Right? Oh yeah. Would the way you just said it, that was perfect. Because you’re right. You get to know yourself. I’ve unfortunately done this for almost five years now. I know what I can. I can not do. Like I know that when I mentally check out, why would I set myself up for failure at work when I know that I’m not going to be present and people deserve more? And so if checking email is all I can do, well, then that’s all I can do. Or if I need to take a break and go watch Netflix or watch something mindless an hour before my cancer appointment, then that’s what I’m going to do. But it is about being organized, making sure you see what kind of what’s going on for the week. That’s what’s made me successful, I think, in navigating through this, through the workplaces, staying organized, staying communicative with those around me. And what I need.

00;23;29;20 – 00;24;04;18
Kelly Parbs
I think those are just excellent practical tips. Thank you for that. I want to come back to something we just touched on before, because I think it’s just so important sometimes. Well, oftentimes we just don’t know what to say to someone who’s dealing with cancer. What were some of the more helpful things that people said and what were if you’re willing to share, like some of the worst things people said, you know, maybe our listeners want to get out their notepads right now so they can write down what not to say.

00;24;04;22 – 00;24;06;29
Jessica Storm
Yeah, some of the doozies I call them.

00;24;07;02 – 00;24;09;24
Kelly Parbs
Dos and don’ts. Yeah.

00;24;09;26 – 00;25;04;07
Jessica Storm
Yeah! So first of all, the things that I think are really helpful are probably the simplest messages that you could possibly think of thinking of you with an emoji, a funny meme, like I thinking of you, it’s something really funny. It’s not cancer related, but those I absolutely love it because it makes me laugh. I really You would do this, Kelly is let me know that I don’t have to respond because sometimes I feel pressure of like is it’s a Facebook message or Instagram of like having to get back to everybody. You do not have cancer patients. You do not have to get back to everybody. You do not have to send a thank you card to everybody. I just want you to make that known that you don’t have to do that. You’re already doing enough. People do not expect thank you cards. They do not do not expect a reply. So we ask somebody, say, thinking of you.

00;25;04;09 – 00;25;16;26
Kelly Parbs
You know, I think it’s kind of a gift to say to somebody, please don’t give me a thank you note. You know, here’s this gift card or here’s whatever this lovely thing is. Please don’t write a thank you note. I think it’s a gift to say that to someone.

00;25;17;03 – 00;26;38;29
Jessica Storm
Yes. You know what, Kelly? I love that. And that is helpful to let me know that I. I can let my guilt go, that I’m not going to write you a thank you card. And I think not even to remember to text you or email you or whatever it is like I just but I am really grateful, you know, like I’ve thankful for it. So I often get asked like, I don’t know what to say to my you know, I’ve had friends to this Jessica. I didn’t know what to say to you. Like I had no idea what to say it, so I chose not to. And now they come back and they regret it. But it was just like, You know what? I didn’t need you to write a paragraph. I just needed you to say big hugs, thinking of, you know, XOXO, you know, depending where, you know, someone’s spiritual care is praying for you, sending you good vibes. Like, whatever it is, just those one liners and then even just putting you do not have to reply. Or if you want to send a like text message, say you do not have to reply and then write out your message. But thinking about what you asked me, what do you not to say? I get on a soapbox about, do not tell me that my 409 cleaner caused my cancer! Do not tell me to go roll in mud because that will cure my cancer. Don’t tell me that what you would do if you had cancer.

00;26;39;01 – 00;26;40;01
Kelly Parbs
Interesting.

00;26;40;06 – 00;27;13;11
Jessica Storm
Dude, you do not have cancer so you do not get to tell me what it is that you would do. Get back to me when you have cancer, not that I’m wishing cancer upon anybody but those, we’re already hard enough on ourselves. I was like, Why do we get cancer? Why me? Like it weighs on us so much. I don’t need you to tell me, like, Oh, you should really think about using this cleaning supply. It’s all natural. You’re basically telling me, even though you’re not telling me that my cancer was caused by my cleaner.

00;27;13;17 – 00;27;31;09
Kelly Parbs
What if I read an article? Let’s just say I read an article about cleaning supplies that are are healthier, and I wanted you to know about it. But how could I go about sharing that with you in a way that didn’t make you feel that way?

00;27;31;11 – 00;29;00;12
Jessica Storm
Write it out. Because we’re like I always say, sometimes I’m I’m a psycho. I feel like I analyze everything in the cancer world and how you might say it, but is your email it to me is like, Hey, Jess, I was I was just thinking about like moving forward because you talked about, you know, what, healthier habits because I know you’ve decided to change your diet or whatever and like, I guess would just be really, really careful about how you word it, but definitely don’t just send it because then like a cancer patient, we’re going to think like up. Are you saying my cleaning supplies or saying I didn’t eat the right food? Are you saying I eat sugar and sugar caused by cancer? There is a good one where I see people post about sugar in cancer again, people, we’re already beating ourselves to death. And now you’re going to tell me that the Snickers bar I eat when I was 12 years old is what caused my cancer. Like, come on, people like that helpful? Not at this time. Maybe down the road if I tell you. You know what? Kelly, like I really feel like I want to start clean eating. That that would be that moment of sending me an article. But what what is helpful articles of hope when you see an article is like a breakthrough cancer treatment for triple negative breast cancer. I want to read about it. I want to know that somebody else down the road, like my daughter is not going to walk these shoes one day. That is what’s helpful when I’m dead of heat in the treatment, I don’t really care sometimes what I’m eating. I don’t care.

00;29;00;14 – 00;29;03;19
Kelly Parbs
You’re just surviving!

00;29;03;19 – 00;29;13;09
Jessica Storm
Surviving at this point. So – but send me a message of hope. Send me an article that is going to to to make me keep going.

00;29;13;11 – 00;29;48;25
Kelly Parbs
Love that. Yeah. And, you know, I think one of the lessons here is that you don’t have to have the answers. Let’s face it. You don’t have the answers. You don’t have the cure. And there is truly great value in simply being present, not not turning away from the uncomfortable feelings or running away from them, but acknowledging and validating and walking alongside someone in my line of work. We call that being a compassionate witness.

00;29;48;28 – 00;30;02;11
Jessica Storm
Yeah! That’s exactly it. Being a compassionate witness. That’s all I need from you. I don’t need a gift card! Gift cards are nice! I don’t need anything for you. I just need you to be present and to know that I am not alone.

00;30;02;18 – 00;30;06;11
Kelly Parbs
So Jess, I’d like to wrap things up here on a positive note.

00;30;06;11 – 00;30;07;23
Jessica Storm
Yes.

00;30;07;25 – 00;30;15;09
Kelly Parbs
Can you tell me, what is your favorite thing to talk about regarding your cancer journey?

00;30;15;12 – 00;32;33;17
Jessica Storm
Well, honestly, like today is one of my favorite topics to talk about with my journey, because I think we don’t necessarily know how to navigate our cancer diagnosis in our workplace. So just today was an exciting topic for me, but I love sharing my story because I think it’s a hopeful one! I’ve got three different diagnosis is in roughly five years and I’m still here today. You know, I, I never every time I get diagnosed, I don’t worry about the problem. I do not care actually about the prep. I just need to focus and know about what’s the solution that I think was what’s made me so successful is every time they talk about something really terrible is happening to me, one time they thought that maybe my cancer had gone to my spinal fluid, which having a spinal tap is probably the worst pain I’ve ever been in besides a root canal. But, you know, I thought maybe I was a goner at that point, but it was like, don’t let’s focus in on the solution. You know, it’s easy to go into that dark hole, but staying focused it like a good place and again, being around the ones you love, like, I think that’s what’s made me so successful at that I just never get tired. That was a lesson that I had learned or heard of Read Story I can’t even Remember was a story of a woman who felt like her friend who had passed. She kind of got tired and I was like, okay, do not get tired, Jess. Your day is when you are not even sure if you can pick up your feet or make it to your bedroom, but you will make it. And having that self-talk and I just I guess I just love in general sharing all the ups and downs and that I still coming up on top because I’ve been open and honest with people of what I need and how I’m going to get through it and honest with myself about setting boundaries of like, okay, like I’m still in that Kelly! I’m still processing the last five years and what in the world happened to me, you know, survival mode for five years. And now I kind of feel like, wow, you know what? In 2023, I’m gonna live. I’m going to start living again. And that and yelling at cars and having road rage like normal people problems. I’m gonna have normal people problems!

00;32;33;20 – 00;32;44;13
Kelly Parbs
Oh, thank you, Jess! Thank you for your honesty and for your positivity and sharing your journey with us. I really appreciate your time today.

00;32;44;15 – 00;32;47;05
Jessica Storm
Oh, well, thank you for having me.

00;32;47;08 – 00;33;08;06
Kelly Parbs
To hear other episodes of OnTopic with Empathia, visit our website, www.empathia.com. Follow us on social media @Empathia, and subscribe to OnTopic with Empathia to hear new episodes as they go live. I’m Kelly Parbs. Thanks for listening to OnTopic with Empathia!