Episode 10: Receiving a Cancer Diagnosis with Jessica Storm, Part 1

OT Ep. 10 – Transcription.txt
00;00;09;01 – 00;03;34;07
Kelly Parbs
Welcome to OnTopic with Empathia. I’m your host, Kelly Parbs. Today on the show, we will meet Jessica Storm. She has been a friend and a coworker of mine for years and she has quite a story. Jess has the admiration of everyone she works with. The choices she has made and how she is living her life are proof that cancer is an enemy, but it also can be a catalyst to inspire others. Jessica is an account executive at Empathia. She is a wife, mother, sister, daughter and friend, and she has a cancer story to tell. Her experience includes making some of the most difficult choices imaginable. We will talk about how her diagnosis impacted both her personal and professional life. We will talk about how she navigated cancer while still working as much as she could. I know her story will inspire you as it’s inspired me. Just a little bit of information about breast cancer- Statistics from the Center of Disease Control and Prevention in the U.S. show that each year in the United States, about 264,000 cases of breast cancer are diagnosed in women and about 2400 in men. About 42,000 women and 500 men in the U.S. die each year from breast cancer. Black women have a higher rate of death from breast cancer than white women. Some risk factors that you cannot change include getting older. Most breast cancers are diagnosed after the age of 50. Jess was diagnosed in her early thirties. Inherited genetic mutations such as BRCA1 and BRCA2, which increase the risk of breast and ovarian cancer. Having dense breasts can sometimes make it hard to see tumors on the mammogram. Family history of breast or ovarian cancer and previous exposure to certain drugs and radiation. But there are also risk factors that you can have some control over. Being physically active can help lower your risk of getting breast cancer. Managing your weight. Particularly after menopause. Communicating with your doctor about hormones and which types of replacement therapy might put you at risk. And many studies indicate that limiting your use of tobacco and alcohol can reduce a woman’s odds for getting breast cancer. Thank you Jess for being here and doing this podcast with me! I just want to be transparent with our listeners and tell all of you that this story of Jessica’s cancer and how it impacts the workplace is in a small way my story, too. I am Jessica’s colleague and friend and this is the very closest I’ve ever been to cancer. So today, Jess and I are going to talk about cancer and how she has navigated it in the workplace. And spoiler alert. Jessica is a rock star and you’re going to want to hear her story. Welcome, Jess.

00;03;34;13 – 00;03;40;05
Jessica Storm
Oh, thank you Kelly! You’re making me blush! I appreciate you having me on.

00;03;40;07 – 00;04;04;20
Kelly Parbs
Absolutely! To start with a little background, Jess was 28 weeks pregnant when she found a lump in her breast and very quickly learned she had cancer. So Jess, let’s just jump right in. What was it like to be told not only that you have cancer, but that you have cancer while you were pregnant?

00;04;04;22 – 00;05;20;27
Jessica Storm
Oh, yeah. That was close now to almost I’m going to hit my five years soon, five years ago. And it’s… part of me seems like it was just yesterday getting that news. I can vividly remember it. It was 2:50 in the afternoon and getting the phone call. And I just think my I remember like not being able to breathe. But it was weird because I had to breathe not only for myself but for my baby. And so it was interesting looking back, I was like, I want to do full blown like, ugly cry, like, lose it. All right? Like, because now my world is just crumbling apart. But I all I could think about was that is not healthy for my baby. So somebody just told me I had cancer, but I still right away went into mommy mode, like I didn’t have any kids yet. And but it’s crazy how I figured out that your child comes first before you in that moment of like, okay, I want to freak out, but I can’t because there is a 28 week baby inside of me. And right from that moment, I was just I told doctors and they told everybody, save my baby. And then I need you to save me. So there’s a lot of different emotions, but I would probably have said, like the biggest one was save my Baby and then save me.

00;05;20;29 – 00;05;32;06
Kelly Parbs
Wow, that that’s just amazing. That that’s You were a mumma right away. Your mind just went right to how am I going to make sure that this baby is is okay?

00;05;32;09 – 00;06;11;25
Jessica Storm
Right. Right. That was exactly the priority for me at that moment was I need to I want I need I don’t know what the right word was. There, but I’m like, I want to do what I need to deliver a healthy baby. Like we’re going to do whatever it takes to make sure that this baby comes out healthy. And then we will figure me out. I was just very lucky that we were able to do both. And I say what the doctors had said to they’re like, well, that is we understand where you’re coming from, but we’re going to do both. And so very relieved. Very quickly, how I was able to get a plan so quickly and tell me that we’re going to save you and the baby.

00;06;11;28 – 00;06;19;24
Kelly Parbs
Thank goodness for great doctors, huh? Yes! What was it like for your husband and, you know, your family, your siblings, your parents?

00;06;19;27 – 00;07;38;21
Jessica Storm
Oh, yeah. That’s a great question. The hardest call still, I would say to this day was to my mom. So my mom is a two time breast cancer survivor. Breast cancer does run in our family. So it is and has always been at the top of my mind. But calling her and she was working, I think she it sounded like she dropped the phone call, like literally physically dropped the phone. I think she almost had the same reaction, Like, I don’t think she could breathe. I remember hearing her being like, I’m going to call you back in 2 minutes. She like, run to her car and onto the cell phone. Same with my sister, like, and my brother and my dad. And like, I waited until my husband came home because I found out the news alone. And then he came home like 20 minutes later. And then just oddly enough, my in-laws came is like telling everybody was. That’s like sometimes the hardest part, right? Is telling those that you love, that you’re sick and you’re also pregnant and sick. So I think they had like the same emotions I did of, okay, I want to lose it, but I need to hold it together for Jess and her baby. So I think everybody was shocked. It was just they felt, too, that they needed to be positive because we were going to get through this.

00;07;38;23 – 00;07;45;03
Kelly Parbs
So right away, it sounds like you were surrounded by by support and and by strong people.

00;07;45;09 – 00;08;19;25
Jessica Storm
Oh, exactly. Like my family lives about three and a half hours away. And they had their plan in motion within 60 minutes that they were going to leave super early in the morning and get to be by my side, because the next day already we were going to have a full day of appointments. And everybody in my family, including my husband, my in-laws, we just were making sure like, okay, who’s going to you know, who’s going to be where? But everybody wants to be at these appointments. So I did I did come with quite the entourage to all of my beginning appointments, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

00;08;19;29 – 00;08;43;16
Kelly Parbs
So not only did you have to tell your husband and your family and and deal with all of this emotion, but you also have a job. You have a company that you work for. How did you tell your company about your diagnosis? And and before you answer that, I’m wondering, did you feel like you had to tell them? Because some people prefer to keep their health issues private.

00;08;44;06 – 00;10;47;07
Jessica Storm
You’re right. Like some people will go the entire treatment plan without telling their workplace. Right? They know that they can probably pull it off. I knew right away that I’m pretty close with some of my coworkers, just like yourselves. You know, I consider my close inner circle, and I knew I needed you guys. I needed you. I knew that, number one, I thought in my head I was like, People are going to know something’s up because I found the diagnosis out on a Wednesday afternoon. Then Thursday I had all day appointments and then Friday it was already getting my chemo port put in. So that was already missing two days of work for no reason. That is not me telling you. Like I work super hard. I have I take a lot of pride in my career and I’m in my young thirties. I’m like just building my way up. And so I knew right away that I was going to need to tell my coworkers going, I didn’t want you guys to feel anxious of like, why is just all of a sudden gone? Did something happen to her baby? Because that’s like, if I were you, I would I would have thought, like all of a sudden Jess is gone and like, something must have happened with the baby. Like, oh, my gosh. Like, I don’t want people to sit in that, like, space of wondering what happens. Like, I’m just going to be I’m just going to be honest. And I did have a couple of days and the weekend to think about like how I was going to tell you guys and when I was going to it. I knew that I was going to lose my hair. I was told right away I was going to have to do chemo while pregnant. And first things first, I was going to lose my hair within 14 to 16 days and I started chemo right away. So at that point we worked in an office. So you guys were going to know I didn’t have hair. Like that was like and for me, I seen my mom and other loved ones go through cancer and like, wigs for us are we’re really itchy. And so I knew right away that I was probably not going to be able to wear a wig. And that’s a lot of times how people can pull it off because they know that they’re going to wear a wig. And I just knew I wouldn’t because I didn’t want to be uncomfortable for 8 hours a day.

00;10;47;13 – 00;11;00;13
Kelly Parbs
Sure. And I know that you decided to continue working through treatment. Yeah. How do you think that decision and how did treatment impact your productivity at work? Like, how did you manage?

00;11;00;13 – 00;12;49;25
Jessica Storm
All right, so it’s a little crazy at first. Like I said, I missed a couple of days, but then I do like that following Tuesday I was going to start chemo and that was kind of going to be like an all day thing. So ultimately I knew I was going to tell my close team on Monday because we always have a Monday huddle that I had cancer and I would be getting treatment tomorrow. I right away knew I didn’t want cancer to take my PTO. I wanted all my PTO for my baby. I did not want PTO until I- I just didn’t want cancer, like I just didn’t want to use my PTO. Thankfully, like I have managers and leaders that were just behind me 110%, they literally asked me, How can I help? What can I do? What do you want to do to us? Are you going to need to take a leave, meaning like if you want to, you should take it! And I was like, No. My mom once told me when she got cancer in her young thirties that she felt like working, helped her take her mind off of things. So I knew right away I was like, No, I’m just going to see you continue working. Like I know that I am stronger than cancer. And then all the 500 side effects they give you, I was like, Well, it’s it’s a bad day. Like I got my bosses were flexible. Like if I was not feeling well, then I would take that day off or I mean, flexibility is the key. I always had chemo on like Tuesdays, but it always seemed like I felt like crap, like by Thursday so that I wouldn’t work out Thursday, Fridays, but then I would work on Saturday, Sundays. I don’t know. I was always, I guess, get my projects done because I was just working at odd hours because that’s what works for me. And my leadership was okay with that. Like they’re probably like, I can’t believe she did all of that.

00;12;49;27 – 00;12;57;21
Kelly Parbs
But it did feel that way. It did. It did feel that way. From my perspective. I thought, how on earth is she- is she doing it?

00;12;57;23 – 00;13;24;05
Jessica Storm
People were like, I cannot believe you’re working! Like, why would you just like, just stop working? And I’m like, and do what? Like watch Netflix all day and feel sorry for myself? Like, I think I needed to focus in on other people’s problems because that’s what we do, right Kelly? Like, we spent all day in crisis mode and helping organizations, helping individuals. So, you know, it was kind of nice to work on somebody else’s crisis besides myself.

00;13;24;05 – 00;14;53;16
Kelly Parbs
Well, I have to say, it was easy for me to see that being at work was a good distraction for you, Jess. Yeah- but you said in my role as a critical incident responder with Empathia. I’m always teaching people about the importance of giving your brain a rest from whatever’s causing you stress. For example, like, if one of my clients is a victim, let’s say, of a bank robbery, I gently remind them not to keep checking the news over and over about the story of the robbery or, you know, not to be on social media for hours at a time because they really they need to give themselves a break from that story. I like to compare it to like a sprained knee. If you sprained your knee, your doctor would likely tell you that you should take some time off of that knee and let it rest, let it heal. And the same goes for our brains. In a crisis is yes, all you ever thought about was cancer. Your brain would never have time to heal from the shock and the trauma of getting that diagnosis right. Yeah. Like, instinctively, Jess, you actually did some emotional healing by spending time focusing on something like anything other than cancer. And I just want to tell you, Jess. Yeah, you really amazed and inspired me and everyone around you.

00;14;53;19 – 00;16;04;10
Jessica Storm
Oh, thank you. I just. I feel like the same way about you guys. Like, you just kind of kept me going for our listeners. Like my coworkers. They were Tuesdays, right? Was pre chemo, baby. So I did have to complete four rounds of chemo while pregnant. It’s crazy like you can’t have ibuprofen while pregnant, but you can have some chemo. How crazy, how that works. And it was so awesome because you and we have pictures and I love going through them, but my coworkers would come on Tuesdays, so I was blessed with fact of like, my cancer treatments were right across the street from where we worked because back then in 2018, we actually worked in an office. And so it was nice because you guys would walk over like some people would just come for 30 minutes on their lunch break. Some people were able to get more time off, but it was so it was almost like chemo was fun! I know that one getting harsh chemicals and side effects, but you guys made it something you were able to like. Come and hang out with me is like, give me the dish about what’s going on at work. Like, I just try to keep things as normal as possible. That was helpful.

00;16;04;13 – 00;16;33;14
Kelly Parbs
And I want to talk more about that Jess, about, you know, coworkers and managers and how to support someone with cancer in the workplace. And I want to start by just kind of telling my story of how your your journey began. That was one morning, about six in the morning. I got a call from you, from Jessica. And in our business, this usually means that I’m being asked to go to an organization sort of following some kind of trauma. Traumatic event, right?

00;16;33;20 – 00;16;34;17
Jessica Storm
Yes. Yes.

00;16;34;17 – 00;17;38;25
Kelly Parbs
And I saw that you were calling Jess. I wondered, you know, were you going to ask me to get on an airplane in a couple of hours and go support one of our organizations? Maybe there’s been a shooting, right, or an airplane crash. I’m always braced to hear difficult news. That’s the nature of our business. Right. But this was so different. This was so personal. Jess was calling me to tell me about her cancer diagnosis and ask if I would go with her to that first chemotherapy appointment. I respond to trauma for a living, and this request left me speechless and in shock, like the people that typically I’m supporting or serving. So very quickly I was in a role of supporting someone I cared deeply about, who is my colleague. And and so I really would like to address for our listeners how can colleagues and managers organizations best support a coworker who has shared that they have cancer?

00;17;38;27 – 00;19;50;11
Jessica Storm
I like this is coming from my personal, obviously personal experience here. I did think if it was possible, first of all, to go to is if you feel comfortable having somebody come with to chemo, like, right. Some people like want to do chemo alone. They don’t really want somebody. But like, I would challenge somebody to that, like have a colleague come or have a coworker come like, yes, a lot of people these days can bring your laptop and you could work for the day 4 to 7 hours that you’re in the cancer center. But like maybe take a break. Kind of what we talked about earlier is like take a mental break. Having like coworkers come or having a friend come to chemo is really helpful. I know, like my colleagues, you guys would bring activities or games and sometimes we play games or make crafts that I love. I love craft time. It was wonderful or just sometimes it was just chatting, but again, it was just a break of like all these beeps and nurses and the smell, like the smell of what’s like saline and things being super clean. Like, Oh, it was just nice for you guys would come and give me a break. But I would say the biggest suggestion is as a leader, asking one of your employees who’s been diagnosed with cancer, like how can you help? How like keeping that communication open because there are going to be some days where you’re doing great, right? Well, I do great for like a week. And then there is a few days where I can’t get out of bed or I like when my daughter was born. Yes, I’d had to bring her to daycare, but that was like the biggest task of the day that I’d have to come home and sleep, you know? And there’s having a boss that was just open to like understanding that I’m going to have to flex my schedule. Like, I might not be able to work in 8 to 5, but maybe I could work 12 to 8. So it’s just being flexible, having that communication. But there’s also practical things that a colleagues can do. Gift cards? In the first year I had 252 appointments. That is a lot of gas. There’s a lot of appointments. So a gas card to your local gas station, it’s super helpful.

00;19;50;14 – 00;19;52;17
Kelly Parbs
Such a practical tip. I love that.

00;19;52;20 – 00;20;36;17
Jessica Storm
Yeah, it’s like, okay, we go through a lot of gas. So things like that, you know, fuzzy socks. The blankets were always cold, a Kleenex, people. This is the number one thing I think that people don’t realize about chemo patients. You know how we lose our hair, right? Like literally all over our body. That includes our nostrils. So our nose, we lose our nose, hair and snot comes out. All of the time. Like I can remember being at Target. And somebody asked me something and I moved my head snot all over the place. I was so embarrassed. So to have Kleenex like those little pocket ones, like constantly on you, again give them like a huge box of Kleenex because they’re going to lose their nose hairs.

00;20;36;19 – 00;20;40;10
Kelly Parbs
And what a great tip to think of that. Thank you.

00;20;40;12 – 00;21;26;26
Jessica Storm
You’re welcome. Last but not least, like a meal train! A lot of you guys made meals, because it wasn’t so much about be eating because my appetite was all over the place. But it was like my husband because he works full time. I needed him to work! Again, we’re in our 30 as- well, now he’s in his forties, but then we were in our thirties. I needed him to consistently work. So when you guys showed up at that appointment, he was working because I needed that. Like I needed it was important to me to keep his life as normal as possible. So when you guys would make us meals, it was awesome because that took a huge stress off me is like, What’s my husband going to eat? Yes, I know he can feed himself, but how nice to have a nice meal every night.

00;21;26;28 – 00;21;29;07
Kelly Parbs
Oh absolutely!

00;21;29;09 – 00;23;16;13
Jessica Storm
And then probably the most grateful thing, I am so thankful for and grateful for you guys is the PTO donation. Check If you have a colleague who is going through treatments, they’re probably more than likely going to have to take off time for work. Maybe it’s due to chemo. Maybe it’s due to appointments, Maybe it’s due to some type of surgery or radiation that they’re going to have. Check in, see if your company offers PTO donation. I never got I was unable to get the list of who donated due to privacy, but I have a feeling there was a lot of people at our workplace who donated PTO. I never had to go into my own PTO because you guys all donated to me and that was the greatest gift I could ever imagine. Is that because when I came back to work, I’m a normal new mom, right? Kids get sick. But if I don’t have any PTO because of cancer, like what am I going to do? But I never had to worry about that Kelly. Like you guys donated, I don’t know in total how many hours, but it was a lot, so I didn’t have to worry about those things. There’s some companies out there who have emergency funds, nominate your coworker for the emergency fund. Like even if it’s 200 bucks, like that’s 200 bucks towards their deductible. That’s $200 that they don’t have to think about or that they could use on medication that maybe isn’t covered by insurance. Cancer treatments aren’t cheap. So look into what your company might have to offer. But that PTO donation was, wow, I’m still in awe that people did that for me and that I was I don’t even have words to describe what that was like.

00;23;16;16 – 00;23;44;12
Kelly Parbs
Well, and I have to tell you also, it feels good to be able to help. Great. And a lot of us, we don’t know what to do when we find out that our colleague has cancer, how can we help? So to have those practical tips, gift cards for gas, I don’t think we would typically think of that. Boxes of Kleenex look into whether or not your company can donate vacation time. Those those are things that that we can work with. And it makes us feel better to be able to help, too.

00;23;44;21 – 00;24;19;20
Jessica Storm
Yeah, that makes me think of Kelly- sometimes people will ask me, you know, I don’t know what to say to a coworker. Like, I don’t know what I don’t like. I want to do something. I want to reach out to them, but I don’t even know what to say. Sometimes Kelly, just like thinking of you with an emoji. Or you could send a gif, of like a hugging one. Y’know just things like that, like even though I might not be able to respond because I’m exhausted. I thought it was just nice to know that you were thinking of me so you don’t have to text a paragraph or even an email, but just a one sentence of like, thinking of you and I’m behind you.

00;24;19;22 – 00;24;56;04
Kelly Parbs
I love that. And. And we’re going to talk more about that because I think it’s it’s very important that people know, you know, what should I say if if I’m faced with a coworker having cancer. So we’re definitely going to spend some more time on this. Right now. I just want to fast forward a little bit. You completed your first four rounds. I think it was of chemo while pregnant. Then you had your sweet baby daughter, Jocelyn, and you were off work for maternity leave for about 12 weeks. Yes. When you came back to work for a short time, how long did you come back to work?

00;24;56;07 – 00;25;18;00
Jessica Storm
Yeah, so I came back to work, maybe I think it was a month? So. But yeah, my 12 weeks of maternity leave was also filled with 12 weeks of of chemo. I got one day off, I got one week after, after labor. But everything went super well, so I was able to just start the weekly chemo treatments. Right. Yeah. I think it was like a month.

00;25;18;05 – 00;25;23;01
Kelly Parbs
And then you left again for another month to have your double mastectomy.

00;25;23;08 – 00;25;35;02
Jessica Storm
You got it? Yeah. And then I think I was out. That was November and I think I came back late January. I think you probably get I think it was 6 to 8 weeks off for recovery for the double mastectomy.

00;25;35;10 – 00;25;41;10
Kelly Parbs
So then how did you navigate coming back and then leaving and then coming back again? Tell us about that.

00;25;41;12 – 00;27;30;01
Jessica Storm
Yeah, I, I honestly I think I kind of went in blind because I didn’t really know how or what I was going to do since it was only four weeks and I’m an account executive, so I take care of organizations. And so I’m like, the company’s contact. So I was like, Do I just say like, hi company, now bye company, I’m out again for six to eight weeks? And it really comes down to the communication with your manager! Of like, how should we navigate these four weeks and she was able to guide me of like, you know what, I think it’s best that you spend the next month. Just kind of like catching up with your email because that is, you know, hundreds if not thousands of emails when you’re gone for 12 weeks, you know, and then just kind of touching base with the whoever was watching over my accounts to see if they had questions or they have concerns. And then I did touch base with my company is to say, hey, I’m here, but I am going to go back out on leave, you know. And again, it was so it was it was really helpful, I think, for me to communicate with my companies, but then also for my boss to kind of sit down and just kind of slowly get back into the workplace. And that takes a couple of weeks. It’s not you were just gone for 12 weeks. It’s hard to kind of get back in those emotions. And I was depleted, Kelly! At that point, I mean, I had literally over those five, six months, then completed 15 rounds of chemo. I mean, I can make fun of myself now, but I literally was the Walking Dead. Like you are pasty, you are no hair. It’s like you- you could put 10 pounts of makeup on and you’re still- it’s hard to hide that you’re sick. So I needed a small role. And -and I think all comes down to communication and trust.

00;27;30;04 – 00;27;45;05
Kelly Parbs
That’s what I was just going to say. The theme I’m hearing so clearly is such importance of great communication between you and and your manager, between you and your companies. It sounds like that was really key.

00;27;45;08 – 00;28;06;29
Jessica Storm
Yep, that really was. And just colleagues too. Communication of like what I need or when I’m too exhausted to finish something if they could help me out on it. And thankfully we work for a company that nobody at our company ever says no. We are loving and giving people and we truly, honestly want to help others when we can.

00;28;07;02 – 00;29;09;24
Kelly Parbs
Well, and and again, part of that was we appreciated so much how honest you were with what you needed. And I would encourage anyone out there who’s going through this, you know, having an illness, having cancer while at work, the more you’re able to be assertive and tell the people around you what you need, that helps us so much. And in being able to provide that support. Jess, thank you so much for joining us today and sharing your story with our listeners! Next time on OnTopic, we will continue with Jess’s story. Spoiler alert – her fight with cancer is far from over. To hear that episode and other episodes of OnTopic with Empathia, visit our website, www.Empathia.com. Follow us on social media @Empathia, and subscribe to OnTopic with Empathia to hear new episodes as soon as they go live. I’m Kelly Parbs. Thank you for listening to OnTopic with Empathia.